Tomato Trees

"Do you have bad credit?" the message asked. "Well it's not necessarily your fault."

Isn't this the kind of thinking that got us in this big financial mess in the first place? Seems that people will grab onto any $$ lifeline that comes mass-emailed, included those that stress; "No employment verification. No credit required," and the puzzling "No faxing required." Is extreme faxing required of other, more demanding credit companies?

Here we are now. It's Friday and in addition to the fast-cash scams (8) turning my gold jewelry into big bucks (2) and job offers(8) (including one which claims "you will make nothing less than $4,000 monthly...all we want you to do is just for you to receive from our client in USA and process payment," which sounds like it came out of the mouths of Boris and Natasha and might have something to do with bribing border police, in which case you'd need to reinvest a good portion of said four grand back into the business), I'm finding food and gardening tips.

One site will give me $100 to spend on Chef Boyardee Meals, though I have to say that if I scored a quick $100, I think the last thing I'd spend it on is canned sodium.

And, when I opened a tag called "Grow" - expecting, um, you know what (rhymes with "mean us in charger"), I get this charming enticement; "Supercharge your tomatoes." Now, I've never had the pleasure of hearing, "look at the tomatoes on that girl!!" in my life, and at first it seemed to be the female version of the penis pump, but wonder of wonders, it was all about those tomatoes that grow on "Tomato trees." Yes, that's what I said. "Supersize your tomatoes; 3 Tomato Trees only $10!!" I'm no horticulturist, but I'm pretty sure tomatoes don't grow on trees. But what do I know. Gotta start my Victory Tomato Grove sometime, right?